think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
