You really coming over, don't trick.
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Randomize
