If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize