how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
