I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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