Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Randomize
