I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Randomize
