Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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