I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
