I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Is her dick bigger than yours?
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
