And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
