Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
