i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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