I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
