yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
