Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
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