The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Im part way to drunk.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
