Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Randomize