I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Randomize
