I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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