New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Randomize
