I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
