I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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