Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
