10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
