super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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