He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
