and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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