This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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