It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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