So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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