stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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