I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I'm determined to sit on that face.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
