This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
don't judge my taste in strippers
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
