Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Actions speak louder than pants.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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