Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Randomize
