woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
