I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Randomize
