Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
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