Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Randomize
