Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Randomize
