We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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