this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
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