Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Randomize