They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Randomize
