but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
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