so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Randomize
