I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
he just fucked me for my cheese.
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