no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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