So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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