she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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