its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
