I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Randomize
