Sponge bath it is.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
You pole danced in your parka.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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