So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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