i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
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