Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
that may or may not have been my penis.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
