i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
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